


Practical Magic

by sirius



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 17:32:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirius/pseuds/sirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was written in 2007 and contains explicit sexual content.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Practical Magic

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2007 and contains explicit sexual content.

On the day they met, Jin and Koki formed a secret alliance, a wordless one they might have called The Prank Factory. For Jin and Koki have a special talent for practical jokes. It was a skill finely honed over years and years of practice and tuned by abusing their unsuspecting bandmates. Jin and Koki enjoy playing jokes on everybody. They enjoy putting sand in Junno's shoes. They enjoy hiding in Nakamaru's closet, Koki making scratching noises in the wood, Jin calling his name. Most of all, they enjoy teasing Ueda about his musical obsession. Koki thinks their finest moment was managing to play Vanilla backwards and claiming that it sounded like a demonic ritual. Jin pointed out that it sounded a bit like one played forwards, too, and Ueda decided that he didn't like them anymore.

Pranking was only a hobby, though, until they realised that their greatest nemesis stood before them. Kamenashi Kazuya was the perfect practical jokee. Gone were their dreams of mocking Ueda, teasing Junno and scaring Nakamaru senseless. Instead, a whole world of interesting tricks stood before them. Kame was an uptight perfectionist with a gentle (but not widely encompassing) sense of humour. He had no time for jokes. He had no time for anything that interfered with the schedule. A rigorous, goal-driven task-maker, Kame had driven the lot of them crazy for half a year with his constant disapproval.

It was _perfect_.

Jin's family had always told him that in the spirit of Christmas, he should during the month of December: forgive and forget, treat others as he would like to be treated and above all, be charitable. Koki said, quite unequivocally, that this was sentimental bollocks. 

And so, in December 2004, Jin and Koki and their Prank Factory, engineered the twelve days of Christmas that Kamenashi Kazuya would never forget.

  
_On the first day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
A partridge in a pear tree. _   


“Jin,” Kame said, eyeing the tattered wooden box on the ground. They were standing beside the bus and the curious flapping noise was giving Kame a headache. “You can't keep it.”

“Why not?” Jin said. “It came into the garden. It must want to stay with me.”

“Jin – it's...a partridge. You can't keep partridges as pets.”

Jin pouted. It was, all in all, his greatest asset. “Bob wants to stay with me.”

“No. You can't. It's not Bob. Why is it Bob.”

Koki rolled his eyes. “It's that guy in Lost In Translation.”

“Lick my stocking.” Jin says, waggling his eyebrows. “Bob's staying with me. Can I put him on the bus, now?”

Kame just looks helpless. Koki gives him a firm look. “We'll find a sanctuary on the way. He'll just refuse to leave if you try to stop him.”

Once on the bus, Kame does his best to ignore the noise in the back. He rustles his newspaper, noisily. Then he glares at Koki, to make himself feel better. It doesn't work. Partly, this is because Koki's face turns to undiluted fear and Koki is not, in the least, frightened of Kame. Kame turns around, very slowly. “ _Jin..._ ” he says.

“It's alright!” Jin yells. He's standing up, and trying to cover up the box. “I'll find it!”

 

It's only after Kame has searched the whole bus that Koki reveals that Bob the partridge never, in fact, existed.

  


_On the second day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Two turtle doves._  


Kame walks into the dressing room to pick up his outfit. They're supporting onstage tonight and he's nervous, but confident that any month now, someone's going to pick up on all the work they've put into this band.

There is a tortoise sitting on the table in the dressing room. It lifts its head and looks at Kame. Kame narrows his eyes at it, and sighs.

Then, he looks around the room, finds Koki's sandwiches and gives the salad to the tortoise.

  


_On the third day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Three French hens._  


The next day, Koki decides that it's war. He rings a friend, who rings a friend, who rings another friend. Then, he snaps his 'phone shut and winks at Jin.

Kame spends the rest of the day in a state of nervous apprehension. But nothing happens. 

That night, they're staying in a hotel and Kame is glad of it, because it's the only time his door is locked and so the only time he gets any peace and quiet. It doesn't bother him that Ueda is next door, because Ueda is very quiet. Ueda is the best person to be next door to.

Only Ueda tends to be influenced by Jin, and Jin asks to swap with him. Jin's room, as Jin's room so often is, is 'haunted'.

The only person haunted that night is Kame, who hears the door being opened at 11pm, and a multitude of alluring French accents walk through it. 

There's a lot of wailing, howling and screaming that night. Haunted, indeed.

  


_On the fourth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Four calling birds._  


The next night, a woman knocks on Kame's door. He assumes that it's an accident.

It isn't.

“I'm very sorry,” he tells her. “I don't, er, need you. Tonight.”

“Oh, well,” she says, with a bright smile. “Perhaps your friends-”

Kame shuts the door in her face.

  


_On the fifth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Five golden rings._  


The following day, Jin asks Kame to marry him. Kame swats him on the head with his magazine and refuses. Jin makes a song and dance out of his despair and, just at the moment that Kame starts feeling bad (perhaps he should humour Jin, it's only a piece of fun, he looks so sad), Jin goes over to Ueda and asks him to marry him instead.

Jin has five golden rings in his pocket, he says, and he intends to marry the whole of the band with them. Ueda half-heartedly agrees, Junno is too nice to say no and Nakamaru has his headphones on, doesn't hear, and agrees to anything Jin asks him. 

Something strange happens to Koki's face when Jin asks him. Kame doesn't know if he wants to think about that. But Koki accepts, and Kame feels a bit excluded.

“I'll marry you, Jin,” he says. Jin looks at him. 

“Okay,” he says. “Me and my four husbands could do with some hired help.”

  


_On the sixth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Six geese a-laying._  


Jin, having gotten the whole band wrapped around his finger, drags them all into bed with him that night. Ueda gets up and leaves at midnight, but everyone else stays, because sometimes on the road it's nice to have that sort of comfort. They get on surprisingly well, Kame thinks, all things considered. Possibly too well, he thinks, noticing the way Jin is lying on Koki's open arm. Koki is tousling his hair in his sleep. It's all a bit bizarre.

The next morning, Jin gets up early and makes them all breakfast. Koki gets sausage sandwiches, Junno likes his toast buttered with jam. Ueda prefers to get his own miso soup, so Jin leaves him out. Nakamaru rarely eats breakfast, instead stealing bits of crust from unsuspecting breakfasting bandmates. Kame gets a plate full of approximately 35 fried eggs. He looks at Jin.

“I know you like eggs,” he says, grinning. “Eat up.”

  


_On the seventh day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Seven swans a-swimming._  


When they assemble for a photoshoot, Kame is prepared. They're at a lake, and with Jin and Koki around, lakes are prime territory for practical jokes. So he stays well away from the edge, hanging out near Ueda, who doesn't like the look of the dirty water. Even Jin, with his cavalier attitude to abusing the band, is frightened of pushing Ueda too far.

Koki is making shapes at the camera and Jin is laughing. He's hanging onto his upper arm and Koki is close to him. Their hips are together. Kame quirks an eyebrow.

“What,” Ueda says. 

“Nothing,” Kame says, frowning. He's imagining things. There's no way. 

“They're close,” Ueda says, matter-of-factly. 

“Have they always been like that?”

Ueda thinks. “No. It's getting worse.”

Kame nods. Ueda looks at his hands. They both change the subject.

Twenty minutes later, they're so engrossed that Koki manages to duck under the bench they're sitting on and tuck chips into their trouser-hems. They only notice when Kame gets nipped on the ankle by a swan. 

“I thought swans didn't eat chips.” Ueda accuses, caustically. 

“It had some help.” Jin admits.

  
_On the eighth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Eight maids a-milking._  


Kame opens his hotel room door, and a woman stands there wearing a milkmaid's outfit.

He stares at her. “You have got to be joking.”

“You asked for Little Bo Peep?” She says, her eyes bright and her face abominably cheerful.

“ _No_ ,” Kame says, with feeling. She looks disappointed, and turns to leave. He watches her, feeling a stab of guilt, and then adds in a fit of pique.

“And Little Bo Peep wasn't a milkmaid! She was a _sheep-herder_. Herdess? Anyway! So there you go!”

  
_On the ninth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Nine ladies dancing._  


On the other hand, Kame kind of likes the three dancing ladies. He's about to thank Jin and Koki for that one, when Jin says,

“Oh, yeah. We picked them up in a club but then Koki got bored so we chucked them out.” 

Koki nods. “We actually had something else lined up for the nine dancing ladies. Shame.”

  
_On the tenth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Ten lords a-leaping._  


They move hotels and Kame is grateful. He's next to Junno and he makes him promise not to swap with anyone. Junno agrees and Kame relaxes. If nobody else, he can trust Junno. He goes to bed with a sense of calm, having had a cup of tea and watched some awful eighties television rerun. It pleases him that, however noisy Koki and Jin are when they come in from whereverville, he won't hear a sound out of them.

At 3.30am, he's in the middle of a very pleasant dream featuring Koda Kumi and a pair of black stilettos when he hears a tap at the window. At first, he assumes that it's a branch hitting the window, so he ignores it. Then he realises that the building is five stories high and there's not a branch in Tokyo that could reach his window.

He opens his eyes, tiredly and crossly and frames them with his hand. He turns over and looks at the window. The curtain is half-closed, as usual. He likes the sunlight when he wakes up.

Jin is at his window. He blinks. That can't be right. Jin is still at his window.

His brain starts repeating the words 'five stories high' until he nearly passes out. When he opens the window and Jin leaps through it, he doesn't think he's ever been so glad to see him with his feet on the floor. Then, he thinks about the lost Koda Kumi dream and he turns on Jin. Jin runs away. Kame considers it, then gives chase.

  
_On the eleventh day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Eleven pipers piping._  


There's no practical joke the day after that.

Koki buys Jin a pink plastic penny-whistle instead.

After six hours, Kame snaps it in half.

  
_On the twelfth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Twelve drummers drumming._  


Kame drums on the desk in his room. He drums on the wall, he drums on the door. He's plagued by indecision. He turns this way, then that. It's time to confront the pair of them. Take them off guard. They don't know that he's back – everyone else has gone onto a bar, and Kame's too tired for it. He's back in the hotel and all he can hear, two doors down, is Koki and Jin making a racket.

“Enough's enough,” he says to himself. He pushes the door open and heads to Jin's room.

 

“We've run out of jokes,” Jin says, somewhat mournfully. Koki is watching MTV on the bed, his jeans open and his shirt off, drinking from Jin's can of cherry coke. He looks up, slowly. 

“Yeah.” he says. “S'okay. Kame's getting fed-up now, anyway.”

Jin is coming out of the shower. He has a towel around his hips and one around his shoulders, because his hair is like a sponge and it's dripping water like a tap, down his back. The ends are curling upwards and sticking to his collarbone. Koki watches them curl, suddenly hungry. 

“Mm,” Jin agrees. “They were good jokes.”

“I'll never forget his face when he thought you'd lost that bird on the bus.”

Jin grins, cracking up. “When you sent the milkmaid woman to his room.” He climbs onto the bed.

Koki catches his hips, guides him into his lap. “I think he should have taken me up on that.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jin says, wriggling himself comfortable and making Koki grunt. “That doing it for you, is it? Kame and a milkmaid.”

“No,” Koki says. “She was fit, though.”

“Hm,” Jin says. He leans down, beginning to nibble the length of Koki's jawline. “I'm fitter.”

“Can't argue with that,” Koki cheerfully agrees. He picks up the can of coke but Jin takes it from him, swigs from it. When he kisses Koki, his lips taste sweet and sticky. Koki fumbles the can back onto the bedside table and takes Jin's face, hard, between his hands. Jin is rocking backwards and forwards and his hands are rummaging in the sheets. Koki reaches over and hands him what's either a tube of lube or lip balm, he hopes Jin will know the difference, and kisses him hotly, rolling them both over in the bed so that he's on top. Something about the way he loses his towels makes Jin laugh and so Koki bites him, receiving a swat on the head for the trouble, before Jin pushes it downwards. 

It's not something Koki does, often, which he can never understand because every time he does it, it sends Jin into a complete tailspin. He sucks the head of Jin's cock between his lips, rolling his tongue around, and Jin lies back and pushes upwards, forwards, hard. With every thrust, his breath stutters out. His hands are taut in his hair. Then, at the first moan, he shoves the tube down his body and it falls onto Koki's face.

“Oh, that's fine,” Koki says, drawing back, using his hand instead. “I'll do all the work, shall I?”

Jin just smiles at him, then his face creases up at the first touch of Koki's fingers. They smirk at each other. This isn't something Koki does often, either, and again – he curses himself, why not. Jin's body moves like waves as he finds the right sensation, the right spot, just there, and then he flexes on it. It's enough to make Koki want to scream, so he drags Jin down by his ankles and shrugs his jeans down, gets between his legs. Jin wraps around him, clam-like, his eyes very big and his mouth wet with need. Koki half-snorts breath and leans down and kisses his mouth, hard, spreading out his arms above his head, the way Jin likes it the most. 

Jin's fingers wrap his wrists when he enters him. It's just a small confession of vulnerability that his face echoes, and Koki takes things slowly, mouthing his throat. Jin is ticklish just underneath his jaw and it helps, Koki's found. He runs his tongue along it and Jin inhales sharply, allowing him inside in one go. Koki's teeth clamp his jawbone, and Jin swats him again, bursting into laughter. Somehow, they can never make it suave. Koki is suave with most people. Jin seems to put him off.

He's still laughing when Koki fucks him, so Koki decides to teach him a lesson. He holds him down and gives it everything, and it's rough, it's needy and it's them. Jin asserts himself against the bonds but doesn't seriously attempt to challenge the authority, hissing and groaning and pushing himself against Koki. His hand is clawed in Koki's cropped hair and Koki's nails are hard on his shoulders and there's a cacophony of sound because both of them are loud in different ways. Jin is higher-pitched and Koki is lower, but they both make enough noise to wake the entire hotel and neither of them here it coming. 

Koki's fingers drum on Jin's wrist. Kame's fingers drum on the open door frame. Jin's hips drum up into Koki's stomach. Koki's hips drum into Jin. Neither of them hear him. Neither of them see him.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Kame is the partridge. He's hungry, and sitting in front of the biggest, ripest, sexiest pear tree he's ever seen.


End file.
